Aftercare clients must complete both these reflection assignments -- so you need to turn in 2 pages minimum .

FEBRUARY

I left because there was no room for me. But you could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go.
--Stephen Sondheim
Sunday in the Park with George

To leave someone we love is to knowingly break a vital connection. Even if we chose to leave, we wonder why it often hurts so much. But the heart isn't logical; it feels the trauma of the loss and the responsibility of being the one to say good-bye.

Love is a process; it doesn't end because we say good-bye. No matter how painful or harmful a relationship was, there were good things about it, just as there were lovable things about the other person. The challenge is to accept with grace the choice we've made and to forgive whatever hurt we've received. We can refuse to indulge in self-righteousness or indignation. Those feelings are born out of the illusion of power that comes with being the one who leaves. Most of all, we can grieve the loss and then let go of the person we loved so that we can heal.

Write a one page reflection over the following:

1. What relationship(s) have you had to break in your life because it was healthier?

2. How does "forgive, but don't forget" relate to the above writing?

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Only when we humbly ask for help are we ready to receive it.

On occasion, our problems seem overwhelming, and we don't know where to turn. Our job is stressful. Our health is failing. But many of us face no truly threatening situations, and we still have problems. Being alive, being human, means having experiences that trouble us.

It's hard to ask for help when we are in a troubling situation because we fear that means we are inadequate. After all, we are grown men and women who have taken care of others and ourselves for years. We don't have the wisdom to handle every situation, and yet we think we should. Seeking guidance from friends, sponsors, and our Higher Power gets easier with practice. Asking for help is a learned behavior. And practice we must!

But just as important as the seeking is the receiving. Are we actually open to the wisdom offered? Do we want it badly enough to truly listen to the guidance?

Write a one page reflection on the following:

1. Why does a "healthy person's" life contain suffering? What is the value of suffering?

2. Humility means allowing our self to be helped by others. In what other areas of life is humility useful?

Reflection Work

Reflection work gives the client a series of topics to think about throughout the month. Though treatment is done, a dedication to self-growth is only beginnning. This month's reflections are listed above.